Piecing Together an Alternate Identity

Another woman has an email address that is extremely similar to mine. Almost once a day I receive a mis-directed piece of correspondence to my alternative email ego. Some examples:

• Welcome to Kula Yoga Studio!
• A personal essay describing the writer's experience in a Southwest plane crash
• Receipts for merchandise (I think it's jewelry)
• Info on a new line of clothing and an offer to meet up at a trade show to go over the line
• An update on our English project due soon and directions to a coffee shop to meet up
• Can you believe Jenn is dating Tim??
• Life coaching service (this person still tried to sell me even when I told her she had the wrong email address)
• A note of encouragement from Dad

Looking at my bits of information, I'm left with a few scenarios:

#1: Alternative email doppelganger owns her own clothing store and likes Yoga. She's also still in school, and may be going through a hard time.

#2: It's two separate women. One still in college/High School and the other a successful business owner. One of them likes Yoga.

#3: Why not 3 different people? A writer, a student and a fashion buyer. One (or all of them) may be going through a hard time/life transition.


In any case, I wonder if the other owner of a similar email address ever gets anything that should have been directed to me. How do I appear in her life? Does she think I'm a snobby Berkeley grad who works in Silicon valley and signed up for Oprah's Book Club recently (ay!). Perhaps she's received my travel itineraries or receipts from my Target.com orders.....

American Independent Bummer

Wow. I messed up! Thinking I had signed up as a strictly independent voter when I recently moved, I was surprised today to realize that I'd signed up for the American Independent Party. Such a rookie mistake! Only by checking 'decline to state' was I a member of an independent party. Not, 'the' independent party. I (hopefully) worked it out today at the polling place. But, I had to go home and do some research on the so called American Independent Party. They call themselves the fastest growing party. And, they may be- by simply tricking voters into joining their party instead of simply remaining an independent voter.

Anyway, here are the tenets of the American Independent Party, of which I'm currently a mistaken member until I can finish my online change application and sign it.

America and California need the leadership of the American Independent Party (California affiliate of the Constitution Party). We pledge to:

Reduce immigration, and stop all government subsidies to illegal aliens; no driver's licenses for illegals;

Immediately terminate international trade agreements such as NAFTA, WTO, CAFTA and the proposed FTAA, and stop sending high paying American jobs to foreign countries;

Stop the undeclared wars which are daily costing American lives and billions of tax dollars;

Protect the right to life of the innocent unborn;

Uphold traditional marriage and family values;

Defend America's moral values; keep God in the pledge of allegiance;

Defend Second Amendment rights;

Get rid of the Federal income tax, and restore a tariff based revenue system;

Stop reckless spending, including foreign aid, and take care of America's domestic needs;

End debt financing of both Federal and State governments;

Restore a debt free, interest free money system;

Support high standards in education, including encouragement of private schools and home schooling;

Stop the pillage of consumers and taxpayers by the energy/utility monopolies;

Wow. These are not my views at all. But, because of a semantic issue on a registration form, it's possible to accidentally join this party.

Go vote!

Obvious to anyone who has a TV, radio or newspaper, it's Super Tuesday, so go vote!

A favorite breakfast recipe

Today, after my walk, I decided to skip the usual steel cut oats and opt for a real Breakfast with a capital B. I made a yummy egg dish that I thought I'd share.


Scrambled eggs with corn, shallots, and goat cheese.

1/2 shallot
1/4 cup corn (can be frozen or fresh)
2 eggs
1 TBS milk
1 TBS goat cheese
1 pat of butter


Dice the shallot up, heat your pan on medium and add butter. Add shallot and corn to pan, sautee for a minute or so. Scramble eggs in a bowl with milk. Add egg mixture to corn and shallots. While eggs are cooking, add goat cheese. Keep stirring and cooking.

Voila! Creamy, sweet, and savory at the same time.

Random Walks

Lately, I've been getting up most mornings early and taking walks around my neighborhood and surrounds. I enjoy the quiet of the streets, the gray light, and the misty (or sometimes fierce) rain and watching the city wake up. There's something so cozy about seeing people in their apartments shuffle around in their bathrobes, sip coffee and nestle in for some morning news in the warm light of their apartment. I can't help but feel cozy myself and excited for the day.

I always come home from my walks feeling connected with my community. I feel like my parents when I give a hearty "Good morning!" to a neighbor walking their dog. I nod at fellow walkers or those with more stamina running. I see people walking by with warm cups of coffee planning for their day. I've gotten to know some regulars too. I make up little nicknames for them like: "Ms. Sheepdog" (she has a large sheepdog...creative, I know) or "sweet gay man with coffee" (also pretty self-explanatory).

I've also gotten to know my neighborhood better and come up with a unique appreciation for it that I don't get in the harsh daylight hours.

My Fascination with Author Photos

Since I can remember, I've had a problem reading a book if the photo of the author on the dustjacket of the book, or in the back of the book was bad. I have seriously stopped reading a book if the photo of the author is bad.

What makes a bad author photo, you may ask....

Seems like these qualities stand out to me. But, feel free to add your own.

* Author coyly looking askance
* Author staring into camera with a "hard-hitting" journalist face
* Bad hats (think along the lines of a beret or cowboy hat)
* Props
* Fuzzy, Barbara-Walters-esque lighting
* Leather jackets
* Pets (file under props)
* Swarthy mustaches
* Obviously exotic locations (look at me! I'm so successful I can travel a lot. Read my book!)
* Sexy, low-cut tops: I'm cute, and I can write.
* Turtleneck sweaters
* Pipes
* Profile-only shots
* High-school graduation portrait set-up

Spontaneously Combusting Hair

Wow. I watched the Celebrity Apprentice the other day after recording it on my DVR. All I can say is it was almost too much to have both Gene Simmon's hair and Donald Trump's hair in the same room.

Another Japanese Prank

I absolutely love Japanese pranks. I admire their in-depth planning, hearty willingness to terrify their target, gleeful abandon in preserving personal safety and the lengthy set ups. Here's one of my new favorites. It starts out slowly, but is 100% worth the 5 minute investment.

Would you like a cold with that?

On Saturday, S and I went to visit our good friends and their adorable new baby. Currently, they're living in the burbs, and we took this opportunity to do a Target run. In addition, S was really hankering for a cheeseburger from....Red Robin. Wow. Red Robin on a Saturday is kind of an amazing experience. Lots of families, guy in the corner blowing up balloons, harried-looking parents trying to contain their kids while they wait for a table.

We're seated in 10 minutes and we order. In a while, the runner brought our food out. At this point, I assumed a look of horror. The poor woman who brought out our food was suffering from a cold so bad she could almost not breathe. A line of mucus escaped from her nose, as she thrust the food at us and rasped "here's your food." Her poor voice was barely audible through the gunk that was accumulated in her various nasal and throat passages.

AGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! To me, this is the height of unappetizing.

At this point, we had a Male v. Female moment. We looked at each other with shock and disgust, but then S started digging into his burger and onion rings. I, on the other hand sat there and looked at my salad. I imagined all of the nasty germs flying from her mouth and hands to my food. My cold food. I couldn't do it! I flagged down the waitress and explained the situation and sent my salad back for a new one.

Talking to a few other male friends, they all agree they would have eaten the burger and onion rings, too. Seems to be pretty common. Most girls I spoke to though, were having none of it. We'd all unanimously send our food back.

Interesting life lesson at Red Robin.

PET CHOW (rat poison)

Our house has been invaded by the dreaded Man Cold. For details on the Man Cold, check out S's blog: http://www.appliedluck.com/.

To help alleviate said Man Cold, I went to Safeway the other day to purchase Theraflu and Halls. Last night, while making a nice warm mug of Theraflu to help my husband go to sleep, I noticed something was amiss. I'll get back to this in a second, but first would like to discuss the Petchow Rat Poising commercial parody Will Ferrel did on SNL a few years ago.

Do you remember this? Will was Hank Petchow, advertising the Petchow brand of rat poison. Scenes showed him in a fuzzy, earthy sweater talking about how to use Petchow rat poison while feeding his dogs. The whole transcript is here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95mpetchow.phtml ( I could only find crappy versions of the footage itself.)

In any case, this is the box of Theraflu I purchased:



Looks like Theraflu, right? It says Theraflu on it and was sold in the pharmacy aisle. But, no- I was fooled! It's some useless blend of herbs that you add to hot water. In dire situations such as the dreaded Man Cold, only strong drugs will help. In this case, since I'd purchased the Petchow brand of Theraflu (herbs), I had to resort to adding large amounts of brandy to S's drink to relax him and aid the sleeping process. What a bummer!

Dangerous Package?

On a recent trip to Sedona, S and I acquired a slightly used Cuisinart. To get it home to CA, we packaged it in an old Sam Adams Winter Classics beer box and checked it in on our flight. When we arrived to San Jose, we noticed that the package had been "inspected" by the Transportation Security Administration. We started cracking up, thinking about how this went down.

Baggage Handler #1: "Hey, this box of beer looks slightly suspicious, don't you think?"
Baggage Handler #2: "Yes, indeed it does. I think we'd better inspect it to ensure it's not anything harmful"
BH #1: "It could be beer"
BH #2: "Well, I think we owe it to the American citizens to find out. Plus, I like the Cranberry Lambic Ale."
BH #1: "You do?! I hate that stuff. It's too sweet. It's like Sam had some extra cranberries lying around and thought 'These are about to go bad. I'm going to add them to this Lambic and see what happens.'
BH #2: (Opening box) "Dang! It's just an old Cuisinart. From like the 70's!"
BH #1: "Oh well- we tried. Want to grab a beer after work?"
BH #2: "Sure. Hey, you'd better put that official looking 'Inspected by the TSA tape all over the box so it looks official."
BH #1: "Done and done."

Season of White!

I'm currently getting in to full Christmas spirit. We have our teensy Christmas tree all set up and decorated in our apartment, things are being made, baked etc etc. While browsing online for Christmas cards, I came across a cute card at Target (yes, I like to shop at Target, what?). The front of the card looked like this:

I was thinking, hmm..... cute card, cost-effective, non-denominational. All set. However, I luckily looked at the details of the card and noticed the below information:


Features

• Christmas Card Set
• Features Horizontal-Fold Design
• 10 Cards , 10 Envelopes
• Inside Text Reads " Season of White! "


Uhhhh.. "Season of White!" How can I possibly send this card out to our friends. I can just imagine our friends opening up a cheery, Holiday card only to find the White Power reference inside. Then the confusion would set in. Friends would begin to wonder why in the hell we'd sent this card out. Are we secretly affiliated with some sort of White Power sect?

Oy vey! I'm glad I didn't end up buying these...I'm cracking up that Target would even put these on their site.

Travel

S and I went to Sedona to see my Mom's side of the family for a belated Thanksgiving. We flew out of San Jose since it's easy to pick S up at work and head 15 minutes south to San Jose rather than return to San Francisco.

Sedona was beautiful- lots of lovely fall colors, striking red rocks, green forest, and plenty of time for us to reconnect with my family and just relax.

One night, we went to go see No Country For Old Men. S and I had already seen it at home and loved it. In San Francisco, at the end of the movie, the entire audience just sat in stunned silence. It was incredible. Not so in Arizona...

At the end of the movie (which is not your nice, tidy packaged ending), the Arizona audience became angry. Angry and verbal. A guy muttered behind us "I'm not leavin' until they give me a proper ending!" To him we say good luck since there's another showing in 20 minutes in the same theatre. Another woman yells "That was crap!" (simple and direct). There were guffaws and laughter, sighs of exasperation. It was a unique experience being able to see the same movie in two locations and experience the audience reaction. I wanted to turn around to everyone and say "No! It's a great ending, see....." But instead I just took it as an experience and tried to remain non-judgemental about it.

On the way home, in Phoenix airport, a middle-aged woman sat next to us flipping through a newspaper and drinking a coffee. She got a phone call from what I presumed was her husband and they began discussing how a recent conversation with their daughter had gone. It sounded like they were at odds about how to discipline her. After a few minutes, she began arguing with her husband in earnest, throwing out zingers like "NO, NO, NO! Stop the conversation in your head, I'm just telling you what I saw. Remember, we talked about this!". It became rather personal and I was uncomfortable, pretending to thumb through Rolling Stone, while eavesdropping.


On the plane, we encountered some rather strong turbulence. We were seated in the row behind the exit row, and I'd been watching the gentleman in front of us in the exit row consume two vodka screwdrivers. In the midst of the turbulence, I begin thinking "OK if this plane crashes, I've got to figure out a way to get that exit door by Mr. Screwdriver open. Maybe I'll push past him...mMmmmm...or maybe I'll just go to the right and use that exit row." Obviously, we didn't crash, but I still found my mind in overdrive.

That's what I love about travel: It's an opportunity to experience different reactions of crowds watching the same movie. It's an opportunity to hear a fight in a crowded airport and notice your mind in overdrive.

Back home in San Francisco, it's cold and sprinkling. I miss the gorgeous red rocks and my family in Sedona, but I'm happy to be back in this city I irrationally love.

A Cute Picture of Bella

And, to counteract the bummer-ness of my last post: here's a cute picture of our cat, Bella.

TiVo Customer Service: Anything but customer focused...

So, last night I wanted to cancel our TiVo service since we'd recently changed to a Comcast DVR box so we could watch Hi Def TV and record more than one show at once (we had a really old TiVo box that wouldn't allow us to do those things). We didn't want to spend $300 on a new TiVo box when Comcast gives theirs for free. Too bad really, because I love my TiVo. I found it easy to use, intuitive and reliable. I also loved the little noises it made when you selected a show. I find myself making the noise myself when I use our Comcast box now. So sad.

Here's the time line of what happened:

4:15 I look at the TiVo site to find out how to cancel. Realize that you have to call customer support.

4:17 I call customer support and am confronted with a phone tree that does not offer the choice to cancel or just speak to a representative. I am then asked for the phone number associated with the account. I press zero, zero, zero, zero, and finally am placed in queue to speak with an agent. The wait time: 10 minutes.

4:18 I hang up. I don't want to wait 10 minutes!

4:19 I look on TiVo's site again to try and find out if I can cancel over email. I find out they don't offer email support of any kind. Bummer!

4:20 I call back again this time armed with my phone number on the account and a steely reserve. Confront irrelevant phone tree again and am placed in queue. Average wait time still 10 minutes.

4:20-4:30 Surf Google News, Pink is the New Blog, New feeds on my Reader, play with cat. Have to put the phone down on my lap to avoid brash, cheery music emanating from TiVo support.

4:31 Speak with the first agent. She's very nice, but cannot cancel my account for me. She gives me a "Case number" and transfers me to another person.

4:31-4:35 Wait on hold again and am still confronted by horrendous circus music.

4:35 New agent picks up and does not know: my name, or what my problem is. References my "Case number" and understands that I would like to cancel. The hard sell begins.

4:35-4:38 The hard sell continues. She offers various things to keep me to stay: $100 off a new Hi Def TiVo box for existing customers only. Perhaps we have another TV in our house that we'd like to use the box for...Perhaps our friend who has the box would like a few free months of subscription. Etc Etc. I am now beginning to lose patience.

4:38-4:43 Am put on hold again so she can "Process my request". Awful circus music and advertising comes on again, forcing me to remove the phone from my ear. Ouch!

4:44 Experience finally over. Whew! Am late for meeting a friend.

As someone who has worked in client services for the last 5 years, managing high-end clients directly, developing trainings, coaching and eventually managing a client services team, I was offended by the lack of concern for the customer in this case.

Based on my experience as a customer, I would suggest to the TiVo Support team a few things:

-Give the customer choices to contact you! As a customer, I would like to choose whether I get support via email, phone or live chat. Offer us other options, rather than forcing the customer to call and have a long wait in queue.

-Answer the phone more quickly. Customers get agitated while waiting and are less happy when the agent ultimately deals with them. Hire more people or change the call routing to get customer's questions answered more quickly. We'll be happier, the customer support team will be happier, and everyone wins!

-Avoid irrelevant phone trees. Nuff Said.

-Change the hold music. Ack! It's loud, brash, and actually hurt my ear. Plus, it aggravated me further. Go with music that is less "trying to be hip" and is soothing instead.

-Get rid of the "Case number" system. No customer wants to be treated like a case. We're people, and just want a resolution. It also seems that this case number is ultimately useless.

-Avoid routing customers multiple times. This goes again with the suggestion regarding call routing. Get the customer immediately to an agent who can help them with their problem the first time. Give your employees more trainings or information so they can help any caller with almost any problem. In our department this was the case and we supported a highly intricate product. It can be done and is a much better experience for the customer!

-If you do route a customer, do a "warm transfer." Transfer the customer to the next agent and give an introduction, it helps create warm fuzzy feelings.

-Invest in good Customer Relationship Management software that can help fill the next agent in on the issue if you need to transfer. I would have liked to have been greeted by name and with an understanding of my issue.

-Give agents more leverage to resolve issues without consulting another person or going through a difficult and lengthy process. It should be relatively simple to cancel an account and should be quick and painless. As a customer, it makes me want to return more.

-Don't incent agents to keep customers: This is a difficult line. Clearly, as a business, you want to keep the customers you have. It's easier and cheaper to keep existing customers rather than find new ones. However, as a customer, I do not want a hard sell. I completely agree with the need to figure out why the customer is canceling and offering them product suggestions or offers to help retain them. However, there is a line at which it becomes uncomfortable. I hit that when she suggested that we may want a new TiVo box for another TV in our house.



What a bummer of an experience! I really liked my TiVo, and preferred it to our current Comcast DVR, but felt deflated and aggravated by my customer support experience. It can be better!

Homeless Boyfriends

So, I'm refraining from writing today about Project Runway (but how fun was it last night?). Instead, I'm posting about the last episode of The Hills. If you missed it, you can catch watch it below. Especially of interest is the scene with Audrina and her boyfriend in the bar having a shot. Wow. We had to rewind and watch over and over.

Audrina and boyfriend Justin roll up on his motorcycle, cruise into a bar where they have a "conversation" which really consists of Audrina speaking normally and him looking confused/bored. They discuss how his white boy dreads are coming along. Then, he gulps a shot, burps loudly and then laughs awkwardly. Audrina stares in disbelief/disgust. I swear it looks as if she pulled this dude off the street from Skid Row and treated him to a shot. Ladies and gentleman: behold the new look: homeless rocker chic. Maybe on an upcoming episode we'll see him play 70's covers for cash on the corner of Hollywood and Vine.

UPDATE:
ha! Funny or Die did a great parody of the Audrina/Homeless boyfriend scene.

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

Synchronicity

On Sunday, Scott and I hung out with my fabulous sister, Alex and our cousins, Steve and Cherie. They brought their two boys up to the City and we went to the De Young museum in Golden Gate Park. Then, they came over to our house and we barbecued and hung out. I was playing the Shins on our iPod and we started talking about how much the Shins remind me of when Scott and I first started dating.

Fast forward to Monday night. Scott calls up at 7pm and asks if I'd like to go to a last minute concert. I'm game, so I say sure! Turns out, he'd stopped by the Warfield (which is by his practice studio) and they had just released 4 general admission tickets. He bought two, and I met him outside the Warfield at 9. We walked in, grabbed a drink, and the Shins started playing. It was an evening of perfect timing all around. (The show was great btw).

We also saw Amy's brother's band the Ponys play on Friday night at 12 Galaxies. They just released their new album and were on tour. We had dinner with Brian and Amy before hand and then watched his show. The sounded great- and the show was fun.

Tonight, Scott's band is playing their last show before we leave for our trip. If you're in SF, stop by tonight! More info at www.soundsofarcadio.com.

xoxo,
D

Some of my Favorite Candid camera moments on Youtube.

Here are some of my very favorite candid camera moments on Youtube. The first is short and sweet:




The second takes some patience, but my favorite part is at the end:

Another lovely tea

In an effort to keep posting my favorite new recipes, I thought I'd share a recipe for a tea I had recently.

Flowering Rosemary and Lemon Tea

Cut a few sprigs (2-3 good sized sprigs- about 3" long each) of fresh rosemary. Slice 1/2 of a lemon (more or less depending on your taste) into thin slices. Put rosemary and lemon slices into a teapot. Boil some water (~6 cups) and add to mixture. Steep for ~5 minutes. The result: a delicate, refreshing tea that instantaneously makes you feel like you're at the spa. Only a hell of a lot cheaper.